This topic is rarely discussed in Bhakti circles because it may prove controversial considering the nature of the subject, especially in the context of spirituality; sex appears to be out of place. However this is very relevant and people who are in the sadhana practice of seeking eternal service of Sri Sri Radha Krishna in the Raganuga mode should have a proper view of sex so that their sadhana is immaculate and dot on with respect to attaining the Prayojana or the Ultimate objective, that is achieving the eternal service of handmaid-hood of Srimati Radharani while being still embodied in this life time.
Sex is an integral part of grown up life especially in the human species. Nobody can deny this. If we try to separate out sex from the context of sadhana, it is just glorified hypocrisy. Nothing is hidden from Krishna anyways, so why not open it out amongst other people who are especially serious in sadhana but do not know where to go and discuss this touchy topic of sex. It is common sense that tells us that if there were no sex, we would not be here on this material platform. Enjoying sex is as old in a jeeva as much as probably age of that jeeva since its first emission from the body of Sri Vishnu Himself. Hence we may see that we may be able to handle almost everything but sex.
When we are in the service of the Supreme Lord, we talk of surrender. This surrender has to be absolutely complete if we are interested in Higher experience namely the experience of the Personality of Godhead and our subsequent service to Him expecting nothing in return just to please Him. This is the basis of Gaudiya Vaishnava thought and ethos as enunciated by Sriman Chaitanya Mahaprabhu. Any deviation from this principle is a complete distortion designed to satisfy one’s unmanageable tendencies and thus causing disturbance. A person who is in sadhana means serious business, the business of service to the Lord. He becomes extremely focused, yet cognizant of His weaknesses on which he has to work on. Since he is surrendered to Sri Guru and Krishna, he has complete faith that he will succeed in his attempts to perform immaculate sadhana. When we are aiming at perfection, we need to follow perfectly and not decipher or contort Shastra to suit our weaknesses. Sex is such a weakness in sadhana. If not for sadhana, sex is a necessity and not a weakness. One need not be ashamed of this weakness in sadhana because as one is offering one’s all to Guru and Bhagawan, one also needs to surrender this tendency to Bhagawan through Guru. Sex is the basis of all material creation and hence it is a formidable force. It is this sexual drive which is pleasure seeking that is offered at the feet of Sri Guru and Bhagawan , that is returned back to the seeker by Guru and Bhagawan in the form of all giving and soul-nourishing Prema.
As one embarks on the spiritual journey, the most important aspect used in sadhana is the mind, no other facet of the human constitution is as important. This mind has to be surrendered to a Sadhguru, a perfected being who is already beyond lusty tendencies, one who has earned the position of being an eternal associate of the Lord; only such a being can help any jeeva to transcend the formidable force of lust and sex. There is simply no other means. One need not feel guilty that one is not able to surrender one’s sexual tendencies because this tendency is directly the very nature of material existence where all of us are badly enmeshed. Our sincere prayer and our humble plea to Sri Guru and Bhagawan will simply do the trick. It may at first glance appear that sex can never leave our consciousness and one may even feel that one is forever doomed and can never make it to the regime of the Supreme Lord, but it is sincerity of sadhaka or practitioner that catches the attention of the Lord and He provides the means by which that primordial energy that makes the material world spin can be offered back to Him through the agent of earnest submission to a Sadhguru!